6 ways to fall asleep when you’re stressed

“I just can’t turn off my brain,” is the general feeling people give Dr. Wendy Troxel, a sleep scientist at RAND Corporation and author of Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep, She says. People often repeat memories, thoughts, and concerns, she says, triggering a stress response that keeps the brain alert.

“Brooding thoughts send a signal to the brain that there is more information to process and that potential threats may be present in the environment, which stimulates the awakening response, including the release of stress hormones,” says Troxel.

But luckily, there is a way to reduce rumination through practice. We need time to process and slow down our thoughts from the day.

“People just don’t give their brain a chance to settle down and relax before bed,” says Troxel. “Instead, they rush through their days and then rush to bed wishing for sleep to occur like a light switch turning off.”

Here are tips to help you fall asleep despite stress:

Establish a relaxation routine

You may have heard experts tout the nighttime relaxation routine that allows the brain and body to prepare for rest.

Every daily routine looks different. Start by taking 30 minutes before your ideal bedtime to put screens and electronics away—anything that reminds you of the stress of the day. Try reading a book, showering, or practicing mindfulness during this time. Pay attention to how this activity makes you feel and choose something that conveys calmness.

“What a lot of people don’t realize is the light on your phone, the volume on the TV while you’re watching a murder documentary, or the spike in blood sugar from your food are all forms of overstimulation that keep our nervous system in ‘position,” says Darlene Marshall , a National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM)-certified wellness coach and positive psychology expert.

Pay attention to your thoughts and how sleepy you are

If you’ve had a particularly stressful day, it’s normal not to fall asleep right away. Applying that extra pressure to switch off instantly only makes it harder to fall asleep, Troxel says. Instead, consider shifting your bedtime or lengthening your relaxation routine.

“This can intensify your natural sleep drive, which can lead to deeper, faster, and more sound sleep,” she says.

Take time to worry

It may be easier said than done, but practice planning your worries, strange as it may sound.

Give yourself a specific amount of time to worry and set a timer to remind you that you’ve done everything but don’t need to worry. Troxel recommends setting a 15-minute window a few hours before bed and writing down anything that’s bothering you on a piece of paper.

“When the time is up, literally and figuratively close the book on worry and practice this every night for several weeks,” says Troxel. “Over time, this exercise has been shown to reduce the habit of rumination and disturbing sleep.”

Breathe and be mindful

Slow breathing before bed and throughout the day can calm the parasympathetic nervous system and reduce the body’s stress response. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 4 seconds.

Try a body scan before bed. Slowly bringing your attention to one part of your body at a time, moving your focus from head to toe, feeling the different sensations throughout your body as your heart rate slows and you become more present.

Practice gratitude before bed

How you talk to yourself can affect your ability to manage stress and fall asleep. If you’re being hard on yourself because you’ve had a rough day and are overthinking your every move, it’s no shock that closing your eyes doesn’t turn off the spinning wheels in your brain. Instead, practicing gratitude can decrease the stress response and calm the heart rate, says Dr. Shiv Rao, a cardiologist in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and CEO of Abridge. Whether you say it in your head or write it down, gratitude practices can help change the narrative of a perceived bad day.

“It’s understandable that we’re slow to fall asleep when we’re stressed,” says Marshall. “The story you tell yourself in those moments will affect what happens next.”

Practice stress reduction throughout the day

The key to falling asleep is managing stress throughout the day. Take breaks during the workday when you can feel your eyes glistening across the screen. Get outside in the fresh air. Prioritize relationships that give you energy. Practice self-compassion.

So the next time you feel overstimulated before bed, take a deep breath, relax slowly, and don’t be so hard on yourself.

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